Short Story: Wild Ride

Ride like the wind, your Highness!

Those words cycled in her mind, overpowering the thunder of her steed’s hooves as she rushed toward her destination.

Ride like the wind, your Highness! Save yourself, so that the other kingdoms may know of the approaching darkness.

Princess Annette, of the Kingdom of Landfall, knew she was on borrowed time and it wouldn’t be long before the Shadows caught up to collect their debt. It was an inevitability that nothing she could do could stop. Only an hour ago had they wiped out an entire nation, felling its army in one fell swoop. What possible chance could Landfall’s sole survivor have against them?

Annette’s horse seemed to understand the gravity of the situation as well as she did, and didn’t slow in its ongoing sprint toward the neighbouring land of Blackcliffe. Not a single hoof went wrong, even as both steed and rider were being lashed by wayward twigs and branches on either side of the autumn-paved road. The princess afforded herself a glance behind her. All seemed clear. At first.

The distant wail was the first warning, and the only one she needed. Within seconds, two forms advanced on her, and by no means was it a gradual approach.

It was as if they had appeared behind her in a puff of smoke: two black steeds, if they could even be called that. Annette only had a quick glance, but she recognised their form all too well. These beasts possessed no visible means of ambulation or flight, yet somehow, they hovered effortlessly just a few feet above the ground, their approach one continuous, unhindered motion. Their bodies didn’t seem natural at all. What should have been flesh seemed to be more metallic in nature, its armour bearing a gloss that she couldn’t identify.

Riding them were the monsters that had destroyed her realm and slain her family, her friends, her people. Creatures clad in black leather armour and strange helms as glossy as the plates adorning their steeds. The obsidian visors masked their faces, masking any sign of life or humanity. The Shadows were no humans, Annette decided long before their approach. No human could be capable of the evils committed on her soil.

The Shadows are approaching fast. It would be an hour before she reached Blackcliffe, but they would be upon her in seconds. She reached for one of the two muskets she had managed to pick up before her escape and drew it toward the closest of her pursuers. A thunderous crack conquered all other sound and the pistol erupted with the force of a volcano in miniature. When the smoke cleared, however, the Shadows were still closing in, unaffected by the blast. She’d missed her shot. Annette was determined to slow their advance and reached for the second musket. Another deafening explosion, but it was no good.

The Shadows took their turn and responded in kind. Beams of green light, something that Annette could only describe as magical, streamed from the nostrils of their war beasts. The ground erupted wherever they struck, leaving the princess powerless to do anything but hold onto her steed as tightly as possible until she could hold on no longer. The final shot struck the horse and, in its final throes, tossed Annette to the ground. Though her landing was painful, she was quick to find herself grateful to the leather armour that prevented a moment of back pain from being a twig into her spine.

Annette recovered quickly and scrambled to her feet. The Shadows had left their own beasts behind to finish the job they started by hand. The princess drew her own longsword, ready to make a final stand, but soon realised that she was not very long for this world when her assailants drew their own weapons. They were black as coal and had no blades, but she could tell from the lights adorning them and the manner in which the Shadows raised them toward her that they didn’t need blades.

“Get it over with.” Annette sighed, resigning herself to fate. The princess dropped her sword to the ground and held her arms out. “And may the gods, and my people, forgive my failure.”

It was then that the wind changed direction. No, Annette realised, it was moving of its own accord, it seemed, circling both herself and each of the Shadows, throwing leaves around one another like nature’s confetti. Then came another roar. A beastly, unnatural, guttural roar that tore through the air, making that of the Shadows’ own steeds seem pitiful in comparison. A roar accompanied by an wail, no two… no! The same wail, alternating between the two notes of its personal battle cry. The noise distracted the Shadows long enough for Annette to make her escape into some nearby bushes, though she did not flee any further.

Instead, the princess watched as both roar and wail grew louder, heralding the arrival of something she could only hope was her saviour and what she feared could be a greater threat than the shadows, both in equal measure. Eventually, the source of the war cry appeared out of nowhere, fading onto the road as if it had rolled in from another world. This was no beast, but instead appeared to be more of a large chariot without any horses to pull it. The black chariot roared toward the Shadows and without warning, swung itself into a sideways slide as it reached their war beasts, bearing no signs of concern at the abomination that had stopped just short of a few inches from them.

The chariot was covered overhead and seemed to have doors to either side, each a contrasting white against the rest of the vehicle. The door facing Annette’s pursuers opened, revealing low seats made of leather, and its rider, a woman with shoulder-length blonde locks and clad in unusual clothing, stepped out onto the road.

No! Annette wanted to scream, but fear for her own life had kept her silent. The woman slammed the door without a care and sauntered over toward the Shadows with an air of confidence not seen in anyone who would, in their right minds, be aware of the danger before her. Run away, now! FLEE!

“Hi there!” the woman cheerfully waved toward the Shadows as if greeting friends. Annette wondered if this woman was in fact in allegiance with these monsters. “I seem to be a bit lost, I wanted to be somewhere near, ooh, Blackcliffe, I think. You know how it is. The GPS is awful around here. Someone want to point me in the right direction?”

The woman’s words were lost on the princess, and from the confrontational reaction of the Shadows, who raised their weapons on her instead, it was lost on them as well. They opened fire, green light erupting rapidly from their strange muskets that never seemed to require reloading. However, they seemed to have no effect on their target, who merely crossed her arms, leaned to one side and let out a somewhat unimpressed yawn. When the Shadows were done, she bore no wounds and remained still, as if either oblivious or uncaring of the volley unleashed upon her.

“Okay.” She uttered calmly. “That’s how it’s going to be, then.”

The Shadows looked to one another, puzzled by the woman’s reaction. Before they could open fire again, though, a thunderclap erupted before them and knocked the pistol from one of the monster’s hands sending it airborne towards the princess’ hiding spot. The woman fired her own pistol once again, an impeccable silver piece of weaponry almost as small as her own hand, piercing a hole in the disarmed Shadow’s leg and sending him crashing to the ground with a scream not unlike that of a dragon. Another shot disarmed the second Shadow, another struck its helm, doing little more than disorient it momentarily. The woman stepped forward as she unleashed a few more shots, all without reloading, and each shot glancing her foe’s helm. The Shadow stumbled, unable to recover before the woman was upon it, and lifting the creature from the ground with one arm.

“That wasn’t very nice, now, was it?” she asked the Shadow as it struggled against her unbelievable strength. “And that was silly of me. Of course, you can’t talk, you can’t answer that. But you can tell your masters this: whatever it is you’re up to, now might be a good time to abandon those plans and skedaddle on out of here. You know who I am. You know that this realm is under my protection. You know what to do. Got that?”

The Shadow gave not even the slightest of gestures, but it seemed clear enough to the woman that it understood everything. She lowered it to the ground and gave a curt nod toward their war beasts, watching the Shadows with care as the wounded one was carried over to its steed. When they turned back the way they came and fled, she directed her attention, with great precision, toward the princess.

“You can come out now.” She smiled, slipping her strange silver musket into a leather holster hanging from her belt.

Annette crept out of the bush, her hands held high. “How did you know I was here?” The woman silently pointed to her fallen steed. “Oh.”

The woman smiled as she turned to approach her chariot. “Well, the Shadows had to be here for some reason, after all. It’s not in their nature to stand around in the middle of nowhere for no reason. Princess Annette of Landfall, right? Sorry, Queen Annette, now.”

“I’m the queen of nothing.” Annette mumbled.

“And I’ve met many great leaders who’ve managed to make something out of nothing.”

A furious princess stormed over and grabbed the woman by the wrist as she was halfway back into her leather seat. “How dare you! I’ve just lost my family, my friends… my entire kingdom has been reduced to ash, yet you speak as if it’s little more than spilled milk!”

“No, I speak as if it’s not the end of your world. Well, not yet, anyway.” The woman yanked her hand from Annette’s grasp. “You’re the last of your kingdom, but you don’t have to be forever. Don’t squander what you have left and let the destruction of all you’ve held dear be in vain. Don’t surrender to extinction. Now, are you getting in, or what?”

“Where would you take me?”

“Well,” the woman smiled. “I was trying to reach Blackcliffe, and I figured you might be heading there too, given the direction the Shadows ran off to and its proximity to Landfall. Don’t forget to buckle up.”

Annette blinked as she worked her way around the horseless carriage. “Sorry, buckle up?”

“Yeah, use the seatbelt.” The woman pulled out a strap that seemed to clip securely into a socket near the base of the seat. “This is going to be a wild ride.”

Annette slipped into the passenger-side seat and fastened the seatbelt into place. Only then did the chariot roar into motion again, wailing toward the Kingdom of Blackcliffe.

Author’s note: Someone linked me to The Timelords/KLF’s ageless “Doctorin’ the Tardis” and, in watching the vid, thought the idea of someone driving an old US police car, sirens blaring, between universes would be pretty badass. Not quite as badass as traversing space and time in a police box that’s bigger on the inside and saving the universe while wearing a bow tie, but still badass in my book.

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Short Story: LFG

|ir0nbard has entered the channel
Prince4lyfe: Sup ir0n
ir0nbard: the sky
Prince4lyfe:
DeirdreMasters:
ir0nbard: srsly tho theres another dragon about u guys wanna come slay it with me
Prince4lyfe: Not really, no.
ir0nbard: …no?
ir0nbard: what do u mean no?
DeirdreMasters: You need this explaining iron? After the last time?
ir0nbard: guys we slayed that last dragon without a hitch
DeirdreMasters: Without a hitch? That dragon only went down because of your leggings.
ir0nbard: that wasn’t a hitch
ir0nbard: guys
Prince4lyfe: Those leggings were effective for one reason and one reason only…
ir0nbard: IT WORKED FIVE DAMMIT
|ir0nbard has been kicked by PKbot – reason: no need to shout!
|ir0nbard has entered the channel
ir0nbard: it worked Five dammit
DeirdreMasters: Heard you the first time.
DeirdreMasters: Well. Read you.
Prince4lyfe: In any case, no. In fact, we’d rather you’d leave this one to professionals
|imawizardmary has entered the channel
Prince4lyfe: Preferably ones with single-purpose weaponry, too
imawizardmary: see were back to bitching about ir0ns guitar-rifle again?
|Prince4lyfe sighs
Prince4lyfe: Yes. Yes we are.
ir0nbard: whats wrong with my guitar-rifle?
ir0nbard: guys
ironbard: WHATS WRONG WIT IT>>
|ir0nbard has been kicked by PKbot – reason: no need to shout!
|ir0nbard has entered the channel
imawizardmary: ir0n
imawizardmary: chill
ir0nbard: what
ir0nbard: oh
imawizardmary: seriously though, your axecannon or whatevers fine
imawizardmary: just needs some enchanting is all
Prince4lyfe: Wiz…
ir0nbard: i dont want it enchanting
Prince4lyfe: Aren’t you forgetting something?
ir0nbard: enchantings for cowards
imawizardmary: am i?
|ir0nbard has been kicked by Prince4lyfe – reason: We don’t call people cowards, ir0n
Prince4lyfe: Yes. Yes you are.
|ir0nbard has entered the channel
|Prince4lyfe glares at wiz
imawizardmary:
imawizardmary: oh
imawizardmary: oh yeah
imawizardmary: what happened with that anyway?
Prince4lyfe: Had to shell out for a new rifle, thank you very gods damned much.
DeirdreMasters: The warranty didn’t cover modification damage, basically.
DeirdreMasters: Including magic-based.
imawizardmary: oh
imawizardmary: sorry
imawizardmary: ill pay you back for it i swear
|Prince4lyfe rolls his eyes
imawizardmary: what?
Prince4lyfe: Nothing.
Prince4lyfe: Just see to it that you do.
DeirdreMasters: Daddy’s pissed.
Prince4lyfe: …Thanks, Dee.
DeirdreMasters: Welcome!
ir0nbard: wiz
imawizardmary: what?
ir0nbard: u wanna help me slay a dragon
ir0nbard: use the reward to pay for Prince’s gun
imawizardmary: i dont know…
imawizardmary: ooh good idea iron
Prince4lyfe: Woah, hey, wiz. I’d prefer it if you lived long enough to pay me back, yeah?
imawizardmary: ill be fine.
DeirdreMasters: You, wiz, who manages to blow the wrong things up, and incontinence bard…
DeirdreMasters: Against a dragon.
imawizardmary: ill be fine!!
DeirdreMasters: That’ll end well, I’m sure.
|Prince4lyfe sighs
DeirdreMasters: Stop abusing the emote command, brother.
Prince4lyfe: Stop telling me how to use MY channel, sister.
|DeirdreMasters pouts
Prince4lyfe: Okay, fine. I’ll come with you, ir0n.
ir0nbard: woot
Prince4lyfe: But I’m bringing some backup this time.
ir0nbard: srsly
ir0nbard: we dont need backup
Prince4lyfe: And I don’t need to be greeting the gods soaked in your fear-pee.
ir0nbard:
ir0nbard: fine
Prince4lyfe: Good.
Prince4lyfe: Now that that’s clear, I want as good a description of the dragon we’re about to going up against.
ir0nbard: why
Prince4lyfe: Description, ir0n.
Prince4lyfe: Now.
ir0nbard: all i know is that its big it flies and its red
DeirdreMasters: Uh…
Prince4lyfe: Last sighting?
ir0nbard: what
Prince4lyfe: Where was it last sighted, ir0n?
ir0nbard: north of jaunty rock
ir0nbard: greenhawk mountains
ir0nbard: i think
imawizardmary: joining dee in uh-ing here.
Prince4lyfe: Yeah, okay.
ir0nbard: lets go kill it already
Prince4lyfe: Just one thing, ir0n.
ir0nbard: what
Prince4lyfe: We can’t kill this dragon.
ir0nbard: why not
Prince4lyfe: WE JUST CAN’T!
|Prince4lyfe has been kicked by PKbot – reason: no need to shout!
|Prince4lyfe has entered the channel
|Prince4lyfe has disabled PKbot rule: noshout
Prince4lyfe: That didn’t happen.
DeirdreMasters: Yes it did.
|DeirdreMasters has been kicked by Prince4lyfe – reason: It didn’t.
|DeirdreMasters has entered the channel
DeirdreMasters: Hey!
ir0nbard: why cant we slay the dragon
Prince4lyfe: We have an understanding.
ir0nbard: what
imawizardmary: hes a cool guy ir0n
ir0nbard: hes a dragon
ir0nbard: dragons are bad
ir0nbard: remember
DeirdreMasters: Yeah, that’s like saying all humans are bad because a few of them turn out to be bloodythirsty serial killers.
DeirdreMasters: See where I’m going with this?
|Switchfyre has entered the channel
ir0nbard: ALL DRAGONS ARE BAD
ir0nbard: ITS IN THERE NATURE AND EVERYTHING
Prince4lyfe:
Switchfyre: I came online at a bad time, didn’t I?
Prince4lyfe: Five preserve me…
Prince4lyfe: Don’t mind ir0n, Switch. He’s a little…
Prince4lyfe: …well…
DeirdreMasters: Dense?
Prince4lyfe: Dee!
Switchfyre: This got awkward fast.
ir0nbard: wtf
ir0nbard: the dragons here
imawizardmary: ir0n…
ir0nbard: the dragons here on this channel right now wtf what is wrong with you
Prince4lyfe: ir0n, calm… down.
ir0nbard: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
Prince4lyfe: ir0n…
|ir0nbard has left the channel – reason: screw you guys i’ll go slay him myself
DeirdreMasters:
Switchfyre: Guess he’s after me, then.
Prince4lyfe: Yep.
Switchfyre: You really need to choose your friends more carefully.
Prince4lyfe: Yep.
Switchfyre: And correct him on my gender and all when he gets back.
Prince4lyfe: Yep.
imawizardmary: wait.
imawizardmary: youre female?
Prince4lyfe: Yep.
Switchfyre: Yep.
imawizardmary: that i did not know.
|imawizardmary changed their name to imanidiotmary
imanidiotmary: also how are you even typing?
imanidiotmary: your arms are your wings.
Switchfyre: Speech dick taters.
imanidiotmary: 0_0
Switchfyre: Five donut.
Switchfyre: Five damn it.
Switchfyre: Speech dictation.

 

Author’s note: What? Those fantasy realms aren’t going to remain on the same level of technology for the rest of their existence, are they?

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Short Story: Inventory

The moment the back of his head connected with the floor, Mikul’s world went red. Blindingly red, as the pain had instantly forced his eyes shut and sent his hands around to the point of impact in no time. For a moment, he rolled around helplessly before his agony eventually subsided enough to let him open his eyes once more.

He wished he hadn’t, after finding himself in a warehouse that seemed to disappear into every horizon. North and South, East, West, it mattered not. He couldn’t see a wall in any direction. Mikul decided not to pay it any mind and instead looked around at what he could see, and found himself no less bewildered at the equally endless number of glass display cases with immaculate marble bases surrounding him, all arranged in a grid-like fashion. Each one played host to a different weapon: Shotguns, pistols, even swords of various shapes and sizes. Some of them seemed impossible to lift without mechanical aid.

“Mikul!” a voice called out from above. He looked up to a zippered hole above him, hanging unaided in the air. On the other side was the mid-afternoon sky hanging above the suburban road he remembered standing on just minutes ago. “Is everything alright down there?”

Mikul rubbed the back of his head where some of the pain persisted. “Aside from a bit of a headache, I’m fine. Speaking of headaches, Jo, you want to explain this?”

“Long story.” the unseen Jo answered back. “I’ll tell you later. Erm, there should be an combat shotgun nearby. Silver stock and pump, can’t miss it. Toss it up, will you?”

He glanced around, and just as promised, found the shotgun in no time. Silver stock. Silver pump. Without delay, he opened the front of the case, extracted the gun and tossed it up to the gap in space. “Dare I ask why?” A hand reached out to snatch the gun from the air.

“It works best against VAMPIRES!” Jo squealed before a single blast drowned her screams out. Silence followed, and Mikul’s heart shot throatward. Eventually, the smoking shotgun fell back through the hole. Just as Mikul rushed to catch it, Jo called back “Thanks!”

Mikul exhaled in relief that both his partner in crime was fine and that he would not be the next to use the weapon in his hand. He placed it back in its case and awaited the rope that descended from the hole to offer him escape. He couldn’t wait to hear the story of how Jo managed to cram an infinite armoury into a handbag the size of the average hardback novel, though he suspected she would only tell him that a wizard did it, same as all the other long stories.

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Short Story: Pulling a Fast One

He was getting tired now. The fighter’s strength was diminishing by the second, and he could feel the drain on every swing of his greatsword. His self-healing abilities were all used up and too far away from fully recharging in time to save him. In spite of this, however, he pressed on, hacking away at the small army of critters that had surrounded him at all sides, determined to end this increasingly hopeless battle in his favour. There were only a few left, he noted. Victory was fast becoming within reach.

The fighter hefted his weapon high above his head and brought it down upon the crab-like monster before him, splitting the accursed thing in half like a hot knife through butter. A second crab charged him with alarming haste, only to run straight into the heel of his tarnished steel boot, a blow which knocked it back onto a nearby fire that had been kindled some time before the hero’s arrival. He turned to the third monster, realising all too late that it had crept up on him unchecked. Obsidian pincers snapped at the mail protecting his lower torso and tore it apart like wet parchment, as it did the flesh beneath. Undeterred by the new wound, even as his once-silvery leggings turned a glistening red, the fighter hopped back to bring himself alongside the greatsword he had embedded in his first foe and, grabbing the hilt, yanked it from the corpse and lifted it above his head again.

Just as he was about to strike, however, a blue flash caught his eye. Both man and monster halted on the spot to observe another human, draped in muddied robes befitting a field mage, fleeing with the speed of a cheetah. Soon they both discovered what he was running from: another herd of crab-like creatures rushing by in hot pursuit before finally giving up the chase. They turned, as if ready to return to the natural routine they observed before the wizard had disturbed them, but soon laid what passed for eyes upon the fighter. Man and monster alike watched one another for a brief moment before the grim realisation of his situation finally dawned upon the hero: he wasn’t getting out of this alive.

The hero respawned at a nearby checkpoint, just at the mouth of the cave where he met his demise. He took a moment to check his equipment, which sustained a little damage in his fall and, as a result, had lost some of its effectiveness. Determining that the loss was no reason to return to town for repairs, he headed back into its deep dark depths again. The mage rushed by him once more, followed by yet another group of infuriated crabs.

She was getting tired now. The fighter’s strength was diminishing by the second, and she could feel the drain on every swing of her axe. Her self-healing abilities were all used up and too far away from fully recharging in time to save her. In spite of this, however, she pressed on, hacking away at the small army of critters that had surrounded her at all sides, determined to end this increasingly hopeless battle in her favour. There were only a few left, she noted. Victory was fast becoming within reach.

The fighter lifted her axe above her head, but before she could bring it down upon the crab-like monster before her, a voice from the distant darkness unleashed an almighty string of profane language that echoed across the cavern, distracting the hero just long enough for her foes to strike before she could realise the fatal error.

Whoever that bastard was, she thought to herself as she returned to the respawn point, he was so getting the repair bill.

Author’s note: Just something that’s been sitting in my head after a few dumb experiences in Guild Wars 2. It’s probably better suited to a webcomic, but I barely have the patience to draw a sloppy bar chart these days.

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Short Story: Clubbed

An easier-to-read PDF version of this story can be found here.

By the time she was done, the bodies littered the dancefloor, the tables and the barstools, a mass grave of all who dared to try and stop her. All but one, a single skinhead brought to his knees with the barrel of her pistol pressed against his forehead, at her mercy for as long as she could keep her finger away from the trigger.

She glanced around. The DJ had long since fled, though the last song he played before his sharp exit, a ten-minute number that sounded like it should have been left back in the seventies, still belted out of the speakers. Most of the serving staff had done a runner too, not that she could blame them. She’d probably run too if she found herself at risk of becoming collateral damage to one of her… “brawls”. Taking a bullet to the head just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time was never a good way to die, was it now? Of those that remained visible, only the skinhead and a solitary bartender that dared to peek over his work surface could be seen. Everyone else had fled, hidden or died.

“Hey, Double-oh-Seven!” she called out to the young man behind the bar, every bit the dead ringer for the fictional secret agent right down to the black bow tie that formed part of his uniform. All he was lacking was the tux.

The bartender, understandably fearing for his dear insignificant life, stammered out something resembling a “Yes?”

“I’ll have that vodka and coke now.” she requested, before raising her voice to the top of her lungs: “Unless ANYONE ELSE HAS A PROBLEM WITH ME HAVING A DRINK IN PEACE!!”

The skinhead joined his voice with those from behind all available cover to answer in unison: “HELL NO!”

Author’s Note:

I had a lot of wine in my system the other night. This is what resulted. I’m not even sure why I bothered trying to clean it up, to be honest.

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Short Story: Playtime

An easier-to-read PDF of this short story can be found here

The first jolt sent Molly flying out of her bed and into the wall ahead, almost comically slipping down shortly after the impact until she touched back down onto the floor head first. Her legs remained propped upright against the wall as the skirt of her dress did the exact opposite, depriving the girl of what little dignity was left in her these days.

The jolts always meant one thing: playtime. Whenever her master demanded entertainment the whole house would shake as if were suddenly moved to one side, not enough to completely relocate the place but just enough to draw attention. That was signal enough. Molly hated playtime, but she needed to heed that one call with haste regardless lest she suffer painful consequences. There was something different about this particular jolt though, almost as if something of greater import demanded her attention. The clue was in its ferocity. Never before, not even once, had she been thrown across the room like that. Was her master angry? Had Molly upset her somehow?

As the young woman pondered this from her awkward position, a second jolt struck the house with equal force and sent her toppling face down to the floor. Something was definitely out of order, she realised. Ever fearing that her tardiness would someday be punishable by death, the girl scrambled to her feet, brushed her frock down with her bare hands and took a moment to hoist the strapless bodice back up to an acceptable position before making for the bedroom door with haste.

Another jolt would have sent her tumbling down the darkened stairs were it not for the years of her life spent in the house eventually teaching her to be prepared at all times. After the fourth she couldn’t decide whether to count herself lucky that a bookshelf narrowly avoided falling onto her. On one hand, Molly could have been put out of her own misery once and for all, but on the other, there was always the chance of rescue some day.

Approaching the front door, beyond which her master would await, another jolt struck. One that differed from the others prior. One accompanied by the gleeful giggling of a little girl. The sign of a happy master. Perhaps Molly wasn’t in trouble after all. That thought alone dulled her reluctance to open the door for a moment before she recalled that master might be in one of her more malicious moods today.

Nevertheless, Molly reminded herself that when she was called, it was an order that could not be refused, and with that in mind she twisted the handle and stepped outside, where she was greeted not by her master, but instead a gigantic bloodied hand that slammed down in front of her with such force it was all she could do to stumble back into the doorway behind and cling onto the frame for support. Following the monstrous limb to its source, Molly looked on as its owner, a gargantuan man who had seen better days, primarily those that didn’t see him beaten badly and coughing up blood, letting it drip all over his shirt and the shadow black body armour that covered it, struggled to stay on his own feet.

Another giggle drew Molly’s attention ahead of the titan before her, toward his foe: another giant that stepped, no, skipped out of the shadows. This one, pink of pigtailed hair and clad in a similar dress to Molly’s strapless number, albeit with full sleeves, appeared to be much shorter than the man yet she was still at least twentyfold her own size. Meanwhile, the man reached for something beside the house. A pistol large enough that Molly could have easily used it for a seat and could have easily knocked her into the air had the barrel not narrowly missed her legs as the giant dragged it across the surface and swung it straight toward the ‘little’ girl.

“You inhuman fiend…” the man spluttered, pulling back the hammer. A brief pause was spent spitting out the blood that had filled his mouth before continuing. “You have… no power over m-”

Molly watched in horror as the man’s proclamation was reduced to gagging, one bloodied hand hopelessly squeezing an ineffective trigger while the other grope at the unseen force that seemed to have wrapped itself around his neck. In less than a minute he was brought to his knees, his struggle for air raging on as he toppled over. And finally he stopped moving, then stopped breathing and ultimately stopped living.

The girl adopted a defiant pose and let out another proud giggle. “I have power over everyone and when I say nobody can have my toys that means not even you!”

Peering over the edge of the table, Molly took one last look at fallen giant and the armour that had failed him in his hour of need. One of the smarter ones, she realised, and judging from the soft golden aura around its edges, one with the sense to have it enchanted beforehand. But it seemed all the preparation this man could and may have done beforehand would have been little defence against the dark magicks that ultimately spelt his doom. She would have to wait longer for someone to rescue her.

Before she had even finished mourning yet another would-be saviour, her master plucked her from the table, the titan’s unusually careful index finger and thumb holding her by the waist. Now it was playtime. Molly hated playtime.

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Short Story: One Shot

An easier-to-read PDF of this short story can be found here

You want to know where I got this nasty old wound above my brow? Be honest now. Okay, very well. I’ll tell you, but you’d better be listening, you hear?

It was 2525 and I was posted on the barren archipelago of Midland. It sits on the equator of Port Merlin. I had the miserable “honour” of guard duty that day, on account of a disagreement with a superior officer of all things, but that’s unimportant now. So there I was, bored out of my skull and melting under the midday suns, wondering who in their right minds would ever consider these god-forsaken dunes on the sea to be of any value and importance when lo and behold, the enemy struck with a force we were ill-prepared to defend our little installation against.

The Andromeda Alliance, never ones to be seen as sound of mind on any day, good or bad, had been picking at us with small skirmishes up until that point, almost like trying to carve through our defences with little more than a chisel, and only then did they throw a hell of a jackhammer our way: a hundredfold extra footsoldiers emerged from the sea like the dreaded fish-people you hear about in 20th-century horror stories, backed up by as many as fifty 54-ARK amphibious tanks and a couple of 57-OMP bipedal assault suits marching across the continental shelf like it were a paddling pool.

We were doomed from the start, believe me. Our own numbers would have struggled against the footsoldiers alone and the walls would have easily crumbled under the force of those tanks. Oh, for sure, we could have probably picked off a good few of those tanks with our own cannons, but the majority would still slip through and punch a hole in the walls assuming the gargantuan assault suits didn’t step on them first or wipe them away with their arm-mounted cannons.

It was a desperate time for us all, and you know what they say about desperate times? Oh for crying out loud, get your mind out of that gutter this instant! No, desperate times called for desperate measures, and none more desperate than my actions that day. Most of the men focussed on the ground troops or tried to strike down the walkers with heavy artillery or missiles. Men who had never taken the time to read up on the enemy enough to know that you can rarely take out one of those buggers with anything short of a god-damned nuke! But it wasn’t a nuke I used that day, no siree.

You see, the shields they were packing will hold off most turret fire and high explosives without fail for an extended period of time, but the Alliance scrimped a little on the walker’s budget, I heard. They never bothered once to try and make those same beehive barriers of theirs dense enough to stop a bullet from a handgun or a rifle. And when I wasn’t being penalised for calling the top brass a bunch of spineless cravens and pencil-pushers, I was the sharpest shot this side of the Horsehead Nebula.

So took a double risk that day: not just the risk of failure but the risk of the penalties for abandoning my post on top of my earlier crimes of the day, but I knew that I was the only one who could turn the tide of a battle weighed unfairly against our favour. I vaulted the barrier behind me and dropped to ground level, making a break for the armoury the moment I’d finished my rolling landing. Ignorant of the protests I received on the way and as I chose my weapon of choice – a Zeus-class shock sniper, I’ll have you know – I raced back to my post and started to load up.

By the time I’d taken aim even the commander started screaming in my ear, demanding that I drop the rifle and pick up something more suited to the task. What did he know, I ask you, what could he possibly know better than I? If he had any better ideas, a large chunk of our losses that day could have been avoided. All around me, good men were powerless to do naught but die, be it under the tracks of those tanks, torn to shreds by their guns or blown to kingdom come. Running wasn’t an option. That just earned you an on-the-spot execution for cowardice, which had me counting myself lucky that the commander himself was reluctant to pop a bullet between my eyes.

Once again, I blocked out all the protests and cries and accusations of being dropped on my head as a baby and focussed all of my attention on seeking out the closest assault suit’s cockpit and lining its pilot into my sights. I did everything in my power to keep my cool, in spite of the chaos and bloodshed around me, and held my breath for as long as I needed to get the shot just right, because that’s all I had before those walkers were on top of us. One shot that could have spelled our salvation or sealed our destruction. I had to get it perfect.

And then… BAM! Exactly as I’d prayed for in my mind, the bullet zipped through the shield better than a hot knife through melted butter, into the otherwise unprotected cockpit and right between the eyes of the pilot. And that was when the real magic happened. The awesome moment nobody under either banner, not even myself, could have seen coming. Whichever way that sorry bastard must have fallen in his death throes also sent the walker tumbling down, but not before staggering right into his other gargantuan friend behind him. If the surviving pilot hadn’t then tried to push the fallen one away, well, he might never have been dragged down with him. Let me tell you, it was a glorious sight to see two of those buggers collapse right on top of the majority of the Alliance’s fighting force before them. Most of the tanks wiped out in one fell swoop while the footsoldiers that didn’t get crushed along with them were torn to shreds, too distracted by the horrifying reality of their shameful defeat. Imagine that, a fighting force large enough to take a city in a day, reduced to nothing in seconds, and all thanks to that one shot, that single bullet that changed everything.

I was a hero that day. Even the commander was more than willing to overlook my transgressions and even offer a promotion, I tell you.

What was that? What does any of that have to do with this wound, you ask me? Well, about twenty minutes later the little bastard riding that walker got one shot in as well. Threw his Xbox controller through the front room window. No, not through the glass. I had it open all day. Yep, called the police about it. Sticking him on ignore when I can remember his GamerTag, too.

Author’s Note:

Admittedly this story was slightly inspired by Thomas “TomSka” Ridgewell’s animated short War. Aside from the basic theme of annoying an opponent during a video game, though, the similarities end there. I do not, under any circumstances, condone the act of teabagging another player.

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This short story is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

Short Story: Retail Past

An easier-to-read PDF of this short story can be found here

She found her favourite seat, empty as always. Her favourite seat for some time. Her favourite since she was little.

The Kid sat down on the decaying wooden bench and unwrapped a sloppily-assembled sandwich from its plastic food bag prison as he looked toward the row of empty shops across the road. They were all boarded up some years ago, she remembered. One after the other in a protracted chain of closures.

As she began to recall a better, more colourful time, before the closures, the plywood boards covering the windows slowly faded and gave way to their old selves. The old café where she would always be taken for some of the best sausage rolls in town flickered back into life. Crockery clattered a random, unstructured song as staff rushed to serve a growing queue of customers and the customers endured the challenge of simply finding a free table without spilling their coffee all over. The empty building next door slowly became a clothes shop once more. A score of women, none of them could possibly be younger than thirty, fussed over this summer dress or that sky blue sweater before the thought of trying them on even crossed their minds. Meanwhile their children moped about at their parents’ sides, looking bored out of their skulls. Truth be told, The Kid was among those little ones.

The sequence continued, each empty shop shifting into their former selves, each one bringing nothing but good memories. The music shop where she discovered the likes of Moby and Orbital at an early age, the catalogue shop that never failed to bring her joy when her newest toy landed on the collection desk, everything down to the shop that sold sex toys and lingerie, took renewed shape before her. The Kid’s mother always rushed her right past that one without any explanation, at least until she finally figured it out in her early teens.

The sandwich was finished, a lot quicker than The Kid had hoped, and the bustling retail units all reverted to their empty shells as quickly as they had sprung back to life. The ghosts of retail past. Nothing more.

The food bag fell into the nearby bin as flawlessly as ever and The Kid hopped to her feet once more. She checked her watch. Half past twelve. Her music downloads should be finished by now, she figured, and with any luck her brother stayed in the house long enough to receive the new summer dress she ordered.

Author’s note:

I kind of bashed this one out after finding that, following the news surrounding retail chain GAME’s downfall of late, my two closest stores were shut down and cleared out permanently, with a sign pointing me to a surviving store that’s more than half an hour away. Not cool. Anyway, this half-arsed job, as you probably gathered by the fact that I was too lazy to give “The Kid” a name, wasn’t supposed to come across as DOOOOOOOOOOOOM! However, the more I went over it the more it felt that way, despite that not even being my intention. Oh well.

Creative Commons Licence
This short story is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.