While I realise this may come across as pretty inflammatory  the sheer ignorance I am about to describe has truly made my really cranky this morning.

Today a local radio station posted this on their Facebook page:

Frankly, my eyes fell upon this and my immediate thought was: “Does anyone even buy this?” Otherwise I was pretty indifferent about it. There are, most likely, far worse tablet peripherals out there. Ones that do sell.

Others weren’t so nonchalant about it:

Oh, where do I even start? I know! How about I introduce all you people to a little marvel of the human mind called a

GRIP.

First off: Are you morons even going to buy this thing? No? Well, good for you. You have some semblance of a clue how to manage your money. That makes you a marginally better parent, I guess. But still, why do you even care about it so much? Why do you all insist on wasting keystrokes to repeatedly brand it stupid. This is, in actual fact, a stroke of GENIUS. Why? Because it exploits the lazy and it might just turn a profit for its creators. They know what they’re doing, and genuinely believe it might work. What are you lot doing? Probably grinding yourself into stupid levels of debt because you’ve been binging on credit cards and pay day loans just to get your HDTV or the smartphone you just ranted from, I’ll bet.

Secondly: “Kids shouldn’t be allow computers.” “Kids spend too much time in front of TV instead of out playing.”

This has got to stop. The blaming and animosity towards something that could, no, WILL be part of their future has got to stop. Do you want to know why they’re sitting in front of a console most of their childhoods? It’s because you, the parents, won’t act like damn parents. Here’s an idea for you. In fact, here’s a few.

1. Stop blaming IT for your child’s lack of development. Stop whining about them never stepping away from the latest Call of Duty carbon copy and never stepping outside on a good day. Your kids should be outside playing whenever that’s possible and the only person that can do that is you. Make them go out and play. Take them to a park once in a while. Take a damn active role in raising your child. Also, stop using excessive punctuation marks. One exclamation mark will do when it’s required. Likewise, one question mark will do. Not fifty to end a sentence. That just makes you look like a rabid loon that needs to be thrown down a pit for the sake of us all.
   
2. In the house, give them a few toys with some educational value at the least. Nothing fancy. A few action figures and board games wouldn’t go amiss. Participate in their play.
3. If you have a free (as in available) computer or tablet, do let them play on it. DO NOT just park them in front of it and forget they exist. Sit with them. Guide them. Teach them. Know when to stop and to pull them away. This is how you teach moderation.
4. Give them educational software. It exists and it doesn’t need an overpriced and under-specced VTech block of plastic to run it. All it takes is a little homework to find them and ascertain which software is right for your offspring. As they get older, push them toward adventure games that command logic in order to succeed. Give them text adventures like Zork. Give them strategy games that reward maintaining peace and diplomacy over simply blowing shit up and ventilating anything that isn’t American. Again, these games exist. Again, all it takes is a little homework. Again, sit with them as they play.
5. Ultimately, stop using IT as a scapegoat for your child being an undeveloped little shit with nothing than a future of flipping burgers ahead of them. Use it as a tool for development, and use it the hell wisely. IT surrounds us all. It has become an essential part of our lives in this developed world and it is essential that they understand what they’re dealing with as soon as. Not before some stupid arbitrary age that’s only going to hamper them in future.

Really, sitting there raging about something you’re not even going to buy, blaming the nearest thing that happens to be part of your everyday life and failing to look at yourself and what you could do to aid your child’s development really makes me question the collective intelligence of North East England. That’s not to say everyone here is incredibly stupid, or even at all, but stupid:smart ratio can not be doing the region any wonders. Which, while I’m at it, prompted this tweet tonight:

Sometimes I think a supervillain could conquer North East England with little more than a pipe cleaner.

—
Jonathan Humphreys (@RichieStacker) January 15, 2013

Rant over. On a lighter note, this one, as crass as it is, was actually pretty funny: